Life has been really odd (and stressful and confusing and painful and so on) since we closed the doors to Axis.
Since we stepped away from ministry, we've asked the question, "What now?" over and over and over.
I've sent out close to 30 resume's for ministry positions in town and across the state... no takers. What Now?
I've applied at 15-20 restaurants for a server position. I got one job (part-time lunches) only to have the restaurant totally shut down 6 days later.
I now have a part-time job at the same restaurant that my wife works at (that's an interesting dynamic). But still it's part-time and mostly lunches (obviously there's more money to be made at dinner).
We contemplated moving out of town, but we can't come up with a good enough reason. Side note: Hawaii comes up most often as a viable location to move.
One a personal prayer retreat that I took in April, I felt like God was talking to me about clouds. I was reading in Exodus where the Hebrews wouldn't pick up and move until the cloud moved. If you remember the story, it was a cloud by day and fire by night. When the cloud moved, the Hebrews moved. When the cloud stayed, the Hebrews stayed.
I really felt like God was speaking to me about not going anywhere... until the 'cloud' moved. It was a caution for me not to get too wrapped up in my own 'good ideas' but to sit back and wait to see what direction God would take me.
So, we've stayed in Fresno. We have part-time jobs waiting tables. We're not going anywhere until the cloud moves. No matter how green the grass looks somewhere else (like Hawaii), God has asked us to camp in Fresno for the time being. I'm learning to be OK with that.
Part-time jobs mean part-time sized paychecks. It's simply a miracle how we've paid our bills since we've let go of Axis. A miracle, I tell you.
At the beginning of every month, Sarah and I sit down and look at the finances. We budget for every conceivable expenditure. Every month since March, we've faced a significant shortfall. Some months look like we'll be behind $500 and some months have looks as grim as $1,000. But God does a miracle every single month.
We got money back from the IRS. We got the "Stimulus" check. People have given us random 'free' money. Someone even paid our rent one month! I got the opportunity to shoot footage and be an actor in a short film (I still can't believe I got paid!!!) I've gotten a couple of photography jobs. Currently I'm developing a website and making a video for a construction company in town.
My point is that God has supplied just enough money for all of our needs.
On my prayer retreat in April I was reading about the Manna that God provided to the Hebrews. God would supply just enough food for each day. The Hebrews weren't allowed to hoard. They weren't allowed to stress about next weeks meal. They simply had to accept God's provision each day. Each day, His provision was new.
God is supplying for my family every single day. Each day His mercy is new for us. Each month we are looking forward to see how God will take care of us... because this month looks like we'll be $800 in the hole.
Since the close of our church we're constantly asking God, "What's next?". Currently our answer is "Clouds and Manna". We're watching for the Cloud to move and we're picking up our manna everyday.
Daily, I am finding God's divine imprint in my life. I hope you can see God's work in your life everyday.
Since we stepped away from ministry, we've asked the question, "What now?" over and over and over.
I've sent out close to 30 resume's for ministry positions in town and across the state... no takers. What Now?
I've applied at 15-20 restaurants for a server position. I got one job (part-time lunches) only to have the restaurant totally shut down 6 days later.
I now have a part-time job at the same restaurant that my wife works at (that's an interesting dynamic). But still it's part-time and mostly lunches (obviously there's more money to be made at dinner).
We contemplated moving out of town, but we can't come up with a good enough reason. Side note: Hawaii comes up most often as a viable location to move.
One a personal prayer retreat that I took in April, I felt like God was talking to me about clouds. I was reading in Exodus where the Hebrews wouldn't pick up and move until the cloud moved. If you remember the story, it was a cloud by day and fire by night. When the cloud moved, the Hebrews moved. When the cloud stayed, the Hebrews stayed.
I really felt like God was speaking to me about not going anywhere... until the 'cloud' moved. It was a caution for me not to get too wrapped up in my own 'good ideas' but to sit back and wait to see what direction God would take me.
So, we've stayed in Fresno. We have part-time jobs waiting tables. We're not going anywhere until the cloud moves. No matter how green the grass looks somewhere else (like Hawaii), God has asked us to camp in Fresno for the time being. I'm learning to be OK with that.
Part-time jobs mean part-time sized paychecks. It's simply a miracle how we've paid our bills since we've let go of Axis. A miracle, I tell you.
At the beginning of every month, Sarah and I sit down and look at the finances. We budget for every conceivable expenditure. Every month since March, we've faced a significant shortfall. Some months look like we'll be behind $500 and some months have looks as grim as $1,000. But God does a miracle every single month.
We got money back from the IRS. We got the "Stimulus" check. People have given us random 'free' money. Someone even paid our rent one month! I got the opportunity to shoot footage and be an actor in a short film (I still can't believe I got paid!!!) I've gotten a couple of photography jobs. Currently I'm developing a website and making a video for a construction company in town.
My point is that God has supplied just enough money for all of our needs.
On my prayer retreat in April I was reading about the Manna that God provided to the Hebrews. God would supply just enough food for each day. The Hebrews weren't allowed to hoard. They weren't allowed to stress about next weeks meal. They simply had to accept God's provision each day. Each day, His provision was new.
God is supplying for my family every single day. Each day His mercy is new for us. Each month we are looking forward to see how God will take care of us... because this month looks like we'll be $800 in the hole.
Since the close of our church we're constantly asking God, "What's next?". Currently our answer is "Clouds and Manna". We're watching for the Cloud to move and we're picking up our manna everyday.
Daily, I am finding God's divine imprint in my life. I hope you can see God's work in your life everyday.
5 comments:
Iknow God will sustain you and your family and reveal the next step in his time. Then again, you'll meet people waiting tables you'd never have the chance to see from inside a church.
Thanks for stopping by Ceb.
and you're right, i have met people at work that i wouldn't have seen at church. i also have the opportunity to represent christ to people who really need Him.
Hey Joe- Just wanted to stop bye and say that I am praying for you and for your family. Times like these are never fun or easy- But we know all to well that they are necesary inorder to build our character and to trust in Him with our complete beings. Just remember that for whatever reason- God has chosen to place you in this spot only for a time. He will reveal the greater plan to you and to your family when the time is right. Until then- enjoy eating ramon noodle, mac n cheese, potato soup and all of the other cheap eats!!! I am all too familiar with them- God bless!
Reading your blog is so encouraging and reminds me of how GOOD God is! I know He will take care of you and sustain you. Thanks for the great reminders of manna and clouds :)
I don't know what Axis was going to be like or why it closed. I was doing a google search for emergent church in Fresno and Axis came up. If it was on the emergent side I am so sad. We have been looking for a church that is talking about the hard questions...
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