Eddie Broke His Arm

Short Story: Eddie fell off a slide the other day. Fractured his wrist. It should heal quickly with no complications.

Come over and sign his cast!

My Kids on Halloween

Eddie was Batman and Hope was Wonder Woman.

I love my Mom

i love my wife

Welcome to the World

My Brother had a baby! Ok, his wife did all the work, but you know what I mean.

William Michael

born 8/26/08.

8lbs 11oz

21 inches long

Busy Life

Yesterday Josh turned 17 years old! I'm such a bad dad/uncle/photographer - i didn't take one single photograph! (I also worked 2 shifts yesterday).

Today, Hope went to her first day as a 2nd grader.

Today, Eddie went to his first day at preschool.

Photos below.

Tomorrow my brother is having his first baby (ok, his wife is, give me a break).

Life is fun and busy!

My Sister Came To Visit

My sister Elise came for a short visit. I loved it! I miss her already.

I just love the way her kids and mine interact and play with one another. Here's a couple pics (my camera was in my hand the whole visit!) of the cousins hanging out.

Clouds and Manna

Life has been really odd (and stressful and confusing and painful and so on) since we closed the doors to Axis.

Since we stepped away from ministry, we've asked the question, "What now?" over and over and over.

I've sent out close to 30 resume's for ministry positions in town and across the state... no takers. What Now?

I've applied at 15-20 restaurants for a server position. I got one job (part-time lunches) only to have the restaurant totally shut down 6 days later.

I now have a part-time job at the same restaurant that my wife works at (that's an interesting dynamic). But still it's part-time and mostly lunches (obviously there's more money to be made at dinner).

We contemplated moving out of town, but we can't come up with a good enough reason. Side note: Hawaii comes up most often as a viable location to move.

One a personal prayer retreat that I took in April, I felt like God was talking to me about clouds. I was reading in Exodus where the Hebrews wouldn't pick up and move until the cloud moved. If you remember the story, it was a cloud by day and fire by night. When the cloud moved, the Hebrews moved. When the cloud stayed, the Hebrews stayed.

I really felt like God was speaking to me about not going anywhere... until the 'cloud' moved. It was a caution for me not to get too wrapped up in my own 'good ideas' but to sit back and wait to see what direction God would take me.

So, we've stayed in Fresno. We have part-time jobs waiting tables. We're not going anywhere until the cloud moves. No matter how green the grass looks somewhere else (like Hawaii), God has asked us to camp in Fresno for the time being. I'm learning to be OK with that.

Part-time jobs mean part-time sized paychecks. It's simply a miracle how we've paid our bills since we've let go of Axis. A miracle, I tell you.

At the beginning of every month, Sarah and I sit down and look at the finances. We budget for every conceivable expenditure. Every month since March, we've faced a significant shortfall. Some months look like we'll be behind $500 and some months have looks as grim as $1,000. But God does a miracle every single month.

We got money back from the IRS. We got the "Stimulus" check. People have given us random 'free' money. Someone even paid our rent one month! I got the opportunity to shoot footage and be an actor in a short film (I still can't believe I got paid!!!) I've gotten a couple of photography jobs. Currently I'm developing a website and making a video for a construction company in town.

My point is that God has supplied just enough money for all of our needs.

On my prayer retreat in April I was reading about the Manna that God provided to the Hebrews. God would supply just enough food for each day. The Hebrews weren't allowed to hoard. They weren't allowed to stress about next weeks meal. They simply had to accept God's provision each day. Each day, His provision was new.

God is supplying for my family every single day. Each day His mercy is new for us. Each month we are looking forward to see how God will take care of us... because this month looks like we'll be $800 in the hole.

Since the close of our church we're constantly asking God, "What's next?". Currently our answer is "Clouds and Manna". We're watching for the Cloud to move and we're picking up our manna everyday.

Daily, I am finding God's divine imprint in my life. I hope you can see God's work in your life everyday.

Fresno Wedding Photographer

Guess How Many

Initially, I took this photo (see below) for a magazine called "Asian Restaurant News" (the issue will be out in August).

I uploaded it to my Flickr account.

Yahoo.com Mexico picked up the photo from my flickr account and used in on their front page.

Guess how many people viewed this photo yesterday. Seriously, throw out a guess.



Now ask me how much money I've received for the use of this photo. Answer: nada.

One of my Favorites

Yet Another One

Here's the latest "we don't want you letter".

Hi Joe,

Thank you for your willingness to correspond with us regarding the position of Worship & Youth pastor. We have received information from a number of qualified, committed persons and have sought to consider each one prayerfully.

At this time God has led us in another direction. We trust that God will continue to lead you as you seek to serve Him.

In Christ,

I am beginning to wonder if God wants to me to be in vocational ministry at this time.

Directions

Stay,
slow down
or go?

Sometimes it's hard
to know what
to do.

I am in a Short Film

My friend Daniel Rhoten has written, directed and produced (and edited and filmed and so on....) a short film for the fine folks at the SBC.

I was privileged to get an opportunity to act and shoot some of the footage. Below is a promo for the film. The music is by Paul Haugen.

I play a church planter struggling financially and emotionally... it's ironic type-casting.

Bright Hope for Dark Days CMO Trailer from Daniel Rhoten on Vimeo.

My Son's Birthday Party

Just thought I'd share a few of my favorite shots from my son's birthday party this last weekend.

I can't believe he's growing up so fast!

View a slideshow (with additional photos here)

Where is Matt?

I saw this over at Longbrake's site. I loved it! So much joy!

I don't like to dance (AT ALL!), yet somehow it was hard to sit still.



Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Another One

Dear Applicant

Thank you so much for your interest in the position of worship pastor. We received an overwhelming number of applications and have filled the position.

We pray that you will find what you are looking for and that God will continue to bless you in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Four Years and Growing

Tomorrow my youngest turns four. I love him deeply.

Restaurant Photoshoot - Helen's Chinese Gourmet

Below are a few shots from today's photo shoot for a magazine called, "Asian Restaurant News". I took these at Helen's Gourmet Chinese Food in N. Fresno. Apparently, the magazine is going to feature them on the front cover. That means if my photos are good enough, I will have a photo on the front cover of a national magazine! That would be pretty cool.

Anyway, Helen was an amazingly nice lady! She sent us (Josh helped me) home with a bunch of food that I shot, which was helpful because Sarah hadn't been able to prepare dinner. The food was GOOD! They've been in business for 13 years, so I think the restaurant is doing something right. If you stop in for lunch or dinner, tell Helen that Joe says, "Hi".

Asian Restaurant News

I just got a gig shooting "Helen's Gourmet Chinese Food" for national publication titled, "Asian Restaurant News". Thank you Craigslist. You rock.

In the next few days, I'll go shoot the Interior, Exterior, the Owner(s), and some signature dishes. This should be fun, partly because I've never done a shoot quite like this before. I will get paid, and I will add a national publication to my portfolio.

I'll be sure to post some of the photos.

They Keep Coming

Dear Pastor Joe:

Thanks for writing to us. I am sorry but we
had sent an email letting you know that at this point in time you are
not among the finalists being considered for the position. I apologize
that it has taken this long to get back to you -- the response of
sorting through over two hundred resumes has been a little daunting.

Please know we wish you all the best and will pray for you that the Lord will lead you to just the right place to minister.

In Him,

What Eddie Said

After a huge sigh, Eddie said, "Why does gravity have to keep pulling me down? I want to fly!"

Eddie is 3 years old.

Putting Myself Out There

Yesterday I hung that final two (out of 6) framed art on the walls of local Florist.

Taking my work to the public is a brand new thing for me, so I'm a bit nervous, I'm excited and I'm cautious. I'm nervous to have other people seeing some of my work and talking about it while I'm not around. I'm excited to have other people seeing some of my work and talking about it while I'm not around and I'm cautious - trying to not to get my hopes up too high.

What AM I hoping for? I'm hoping for sales! I'm hoping for a few phone calls for some custom work!

If you are local, I want to invite you to come down to PETAL. Dana (the owner) is really nice. The flowers are high quality. The store is really simple, quaint and has great art on the walls. You will find a map and an address below.

Here are the 6 pieces that I hung.



PETAL (Corner of Willow and Nees) - Click HERE for a map.
1215 N. Willow Ave #140
Clovis, Ca

Now I'm working on hanging some art on the walls of Cinnamonster!

Uncontacted Tribes. Evangelism or Not?

Those in-the-know tell us that there are approximately 100 tribes world-wide that have never been contacted by 'civilized' humans.

These images where released on May 29, 2008 by Survival International. They show uncontacted Indians on the Brazil-Peru border who may have never had contact with the outside world. You can read an ABC news report here and view more pictures. (I don't exactly have permission to use these photos, so I just snagged the thumbnails).

Anthropologist say that they "had" to take these photos in order to prove that these tribes existed. They have no intention of contacting these tribes except in the case of a last-minute effort to save their lives or habitat. Apparently oil and logging companies are trying to exploit this land and have denied the existence of these tribes in order to justify enormous profits.

According to one report, out of the thousands of Amazonian tribes in the last 500 years, none have adapted well to society in Brazil! Zero. Nada.

Another report told me that typically half to two-thirds of a newly "discovered" tribe will die of disease within 3-5 years. These people will often die of the common cold because they lack an immunity to it.

With such grim realities that face these particular tribes if we contact them (or any other tribe), what do you think about telling them about Jesus? What about "...go into all the world and preach the gospel..."?

Do you think that we should send missionaries there? I don't necessarily mean white/American missionaries (currently Brazil sends more missionaries than America). What if missionary contact brought death via disease along with the gospel? (this is more common than you might think).

How important is it that these people hear the good news of Jesus Christ? After all, I've heard it said that no person can come to Father God except through Jesus.

Memorial Day - A Dead Youth Pastor

Today is our day to remember the men and women who have died while in military service to our country.

In addition to that, I wanted to take a moment to remember and recognize those who have died in service to the Kingdom of God.

In 2007 42-year-old pastor Bae Hyung-kyu was murdered by the Taliban while leading volunteers in humanitarian aid in Afghanistan. The Taliban claimed responsibility for the death of the South Korean youth pastor and he was found with 10 bullets in his head.

Read the whole story here.

Kids These Days

This photo depicts what my front yard looked like on Wednesday morning.

Apparently one of Josh's "Friend(s)" thought they'd T.P. our house in the middle of the night.

I think they did a terrible job. This kid (or kids) seemed to lack the motivation to do a good job. What's up with kids these days? Don't they take pride in their work?

Another Rejection Letter

Dear Joe,

Thank you for the time and energy you have invested in pursuing the Student Ministries position at our church. We’ve had a large response to the position, and we’ve narrowed it down to one candidate who seems, for a variety of reasons, to be the best fit for our church culture and this particular role. We’ve decided that this role would not be the best place for you from our perspective.

I pray that you will find the right ministry match where you’ll be able to joyfully serve God and His church.

Gratefully,

Sympathies to Steven Curtis Champmans Family

I read an article late last night (Wednesday) that recounted the death of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter. Apparently she was accidentally struck by a car that was driven by her older teenage brother. Several family members witnessed the tragedy.

I am very sad, as a father of 3 I can't imagine the pain and anguish. I've prayed for the family and I intend to continue doing so.

Read the article here.

Job Hunting in a recession

As a pastor who's looking for a job (ok, it's MORE than just a job, but you know what I mean) I've come to the conclusion that this 'recession' is hitting churches hard. Many churches who were looking for staff are no longer looking and have put a freeze on hiring. I've ran into this many times in Fresno as well as out of town.

In the mean time, I (finally) found a job waiting tables at lunch at a nice restaurant. I worked a total of 6 days and they shut the doors because there's not enough business. So, I started looking again for a job and found another restaurant that is letting me serve tables at lunch.

Serving food at lunch time isn't enough money to support a family of 5.

I'm trusting God to supply for my family. He has been faithful to us so far! We have been able to pay all of our bills since we closed the doors to Axis Community Church! All kudos to God for that!

Going Green?

I have been toying with the idea of riding my bike to work, but then I did the math and now I'm wondering if it's worth it.

I work 3.6 miles from my house at GiGi's Italian restaurant on Friant and Fort Washington. I work 4 days per week.

In order for me to save ONE take of gas by riding my bike to work, I would have to ride my bike for 10 (ten) weeks! One tank of gas cost me about $33.

Um, I'm not sure it's worth it.

Thank God for Hondas.

Maternity

I thought I'd experiment with some Maternity photos. So, I grabbed my sister in-law and my brother and snapped a few shots.

I actually learned quite a few things while experimenting with this niche of photography. For example wait until the woman is REALLY pregnant... don't shoot too early. Her belly wasn't nearly big enough.

I'm also learning about making the client feel very comfortable so that they are relaxed. Jokes and patience are mandatory, I think.

Here's a few shots from my experiment.





[Caption]


[Caption]

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• 12:37 for those that have asked: I found part-time work as a server. looking for more work to feed the family of 5. don't want to leave fresno #
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• 12:39 @lukemundy can i ask what/where you are interviewing? #
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• 04:58 i am not the traveling worship leader this morning - will visit either University Vineyard or New Harvest Church this morning. #
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• 08:12 Got a job serving lunch 3 days per week at Rhema Dining... Cedar and Shepherd. I start now. #
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• 12:02 @aronstrong across from "Strings" in the Big Five/Osh corner of Cedar and Shepherd. I'll be there Tues - Friday's. $5.00 lunch menu. #
• 15:51 the weather is sooooo nice! hanging outside with the kiddos. #
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• 15:57 After 4 days of work, they finally told me that they'd pay me $8 per hour. That was ridiculously hard work for $8 per hour. So, I quit. #
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My Journey: Part TWO of Part ONE

My last blog produced some of the most vulnerable discussion that I've ever been involved in while blogging. My E-mail box was flooded with responses that (rightly so) weren't exactly appropriate for a "comment". I'm still sorting through them.

The discussion sparked some additional thoughts that I'd like to share before I post my next blog in "My Journey".

The Setup:

As I mentioned in my last blog, I had some good friends who left Axis because I did something that was hurtful to them.

Bare with me as I try to be extra clear:
1. What I "did" to them was not immoral, sinful or otherwise devious. But I DID hurt them.
2. Both parties agree that what I did was inadvertent.
3. Once my offense was explained to me, I was immediately understanding and apologetic.
4. They immediately left their church responsibilities and never returned to Axis.
5. The friendship is over.
6. Personally speaking, I expect that authentic relationships will involve being getting hurt by other people. I endeavor in friendships even when I'm hurt by them because that's what I would want from them.
7. I feel like there was no grace from them and that they expected their pastor to be perfect.

I think it's situations like this that pave the way for pastors to abuse their wives, get addicted to porn, have affairs or leave their God-given calling altogether out of heart-break.

Ultimately, the situation that I described in my last blog (and summarized above) isn't about, "poor Joe" or simply feeling sorry for myself. Ultimately, it's the pressure for perfection that hurts me deepest. Also, I see the damage this does to pastors world-wide.

Let Me Explain What I Mean:
I've known countless people who have left their churches because the pastor said, "fill in the blank". If it's not something they said, then it was something that they did. I think there are literally thousands of people who will go to a different church next week because a pastor "said" or "did" something that wasn't good.

I'm not talking about the pastor saying or doing something sinful, immoral, or devious. Simply that he did something that wasn't good, great, or beneficial.

I think that things like this begin to mold a pastor into someone he never thought he'd become. I think that the majority of pastors learn quickly to be VERY concerned about who they allow to know the REAL person that they are. Pastors become guarded very quickly. Pastors learn that there are very significant consequences to the "church" when they are anything less than perfect. This pressure is enormous.

When pastors become guarded, then they isolate themselves. Isolated people always develop any one of a hundred different problems. Isolated people don't deal with the real issues that life brings our way. Isolated people are lonely people. Lonely people do desperate things.

Anger can't be dealt with in isolation and often turns into bitterness or rage. I once knew a youth pastor who went to jail (and lost his job) because he attacked his wife with a baseball bat. They both, obviously, once had manageable problems that turned into some something destructive. Most pastors won't admit when they are having marriage problems.

Why don't most pastors admit that they are having marriage problems? I think the number one reason is an unwritten expectation that they must "have it all together". I do not think that pastors put this unwritten expectation on themselves. I think you/we put that expectation on them.

I knew a pastor that had an affair.

I've heard that 20% of pastors are addicted to pornography.

I remember hearing that over 80% of pastors say that they have few or no "close personal friends". After my brief try at being a senior pastor, I can understand why. They leave you over the stupidest things.

To Reiterate:
The point of my last blog was about hearing God tell me that I can't control what other people do or don't do. I can only control my own actions and reactions. God isn't promising me a life void of close-personal upheaval.

I must fight to stay vulnerable. I must and I mean MUST resist the need to pretend. (although I do think people need to be appropriate - being honest/vulnerable doesn't mean people have a license to air dirty laundry in inappropriate places or times).

My fear is that I will never find a church that agrees with me or would want me to be their pastor.

Here's What I Think:
1. I think that you should become committed to what God is doing in your church. I don't think that your commitment should be to the pastor of your church.

2. Expect your pastor(s) to screw up.

3. If a pastor appears to be perfect, he's far from it... there's a real person in there somewhere who longs to be vulnerable... accepted just as he/she is.

4. Don't commit to your church out of some "consumer" mentality. Church isn't a PLACE. Church isn't as much a place for you to get something as much as it is a place for you participate. Don't go to church and rate the sermon, worship, and activities. When you go, participate in the sermon, worship, and activities. Do you show up, sit, stand, sing, sit stand, watch, pick up your kids and go home? That sounds lame if that's all it is. Participation might be what you're challenged to do.

5. It's hard to be overly critical of your church or your pastor if you view church as YOU. As US. If church is viewed as US rather than a place we go, then any criticism is easier to lace with love and gentleness because you're talking about yourself... about the body of Christ... about the Bride for which He's coming back.

The next blog is written and will be coming soon, "Clouds and Manna".

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blagging on the interwob

Saw this on a friends blog. I felt the need to re-post.

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My Journey Part ONE

Since the agonizing death of *Axis, I've been on a slow journey to wrestle with and understand several things.

In order to speed up the process, I recently took a trip to Chico,CA for some concentrated "away-time" in order to pray alot and listen for God's voice with fewer distractions.

Welcome to Part One of my journey!

If you're still interested, I'd advise you to grab your favorite beverage and get comfortable, because I may ignore the unwritten "keep it brief" rule for blogging. This is my Web-Log of my recent physical and spiritual journey. I'm hopeful that this will be part therapy and partly helpful to those who may take the time to read beyond the words to discover something significant for themselves.

Prologue:
Once in Chico, I turned right on Richardson Springs Road and headed down the 4 mile, bumpy, winding road creatively dubbed, "The Springs Road". It felt like I was coming home.

At the end of the road stood "The Hotel"(built in the 1920's). On this property I spent 4 years of my life mainly organizing missions trips for teenagers around the world. I met my wife here. It felt like I was coming home.

I checked into a Letter Cabin, "K" and I was certain that God would meet me here... that He'd hear my prayers and I would have the luxury of listening without the normal distractions.

PART ONE:
WRESTLING WITH SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIPS:

Among the many subjects to discuss with God was the subject of certain close personal relationships.

The background: While building Axis, we were determined to live out the mantra, "Come As You Are". We all talked about it at length - especially at the beginning. We knew that each of us would be tested in this area sooner or later. Together, we talked about True and Real community. The kind of community that would become vulnerable and transparent with each other. We all wanted a place that we could "loose the need to pretend". We understood that this kind of community would inevitably become "messy" as people began to be free(er) to show their true colors, confess their sins, or their struggles or pain. We didn't have to be rocket scientists to know that people aren't perfect and that at some point one of us would do something that hurt someone else, yet we were determined to take our chances. We were determined to let grace be our response.

If we could respond with God's grace toward one another, then we figured people would be more likely to "Come As You Are". We joked about having a slogan or marketing campaign titled, "17% less judgmental".

Then, one day in January, 2008 I did something that inadvertently hurt some dear friends who were also 'movers and shakers' in Axis leadership. They didn't respond with grace. They were very angry, they felt "screwed", they lost respect for me and determined that I had no integrity. They immediately withdrew from all leadership and responsibilities. They never returned to Axis.

This isn't the place to discuss specifics, but I assure you that my actions were 1) unintentional 2) clearly hurtful to my friends and 3)not immoral or sinful in any way (no cheating, lying, stealing, immorality, fornication, etc)

(even if those people read this blog, I'm certain they would agree with what I've written)

I was caught off guard and felt like I had just been hit by a truck.

Here's what I wanted to talk to God about... here's where we catch up to me in the small cabin in Chico - trying to make sense of things.

Joe, to God: (with attitude) "What happened to "Come as you are"? What happened to Grace?"

God: Silence

Joe, to God: Is it possible to be part of a church community that really lets people come as they are without running away once they do? Is it possible to love each other even when we screw up?

God: Silence

Joe, to God: (using a whiny tone) I thought they were committed to YOU and what YOU were doing in Fresno. Why does it seem like they were committed to ME... until I proved that I'm not perfect? Sheesh - I'm SOOO FAR from perfection! I don't even think that I'm even good, let alone perfect.

I rambled about how hurt I feel personally. I ranted about the devastating effects their departure had on Axis (as a church and organizationally). After all we were so very small already!

God: Silence... and then He helps me be honest with myself.

With God's help, I am beginning to recognize something about myself that I don't like. I've noticed that I often lack the internal qualities needed while struggling with significant relationships.

Let me say that another way: I have a hard time functioning, producing, or moving forward with real-life while there are significant relational struggles.

Confession: During deep struggles with significant relationships, I tend to be emotionally unavailable to my kids. I don't call my friends. I work long hours, just because I can't focus enough to get things done in a normal amount of time. I do less helpful things around the house. I don't blog.

The Conclusion:
I can't control what happens to me. Even if I do A, B, C, correctly I'm not guaranteed that I will get perfect results.

I was reading about Moses (something I often find myself doing in times like these). One time, Aaron and Miriam "spoke against" him about his Cushite Wife (she was from Ethiopa - a black woman?). They were jealous. (Numbers 12)

Later, 250 well known community leaders began to give Moses grief. (Numbers 16)

I'm beginning to re-understand this: Even when we do it right, like Moses was doing, there's no guarantee that our significant relationships won't cause us great grief.

I cannot control the relationships around me, but I can control my response(s).

I sub-consciously thought that if we dreamt the right dream about true and real community, then we wouldn't have relationship problems. For some odd reason, I thought that if I/we taught about Grace and Forgiveness, then people would dispense both.

God, to Joe: Own your own stuff, Joe. You have alot of valid questions, but don't minimize your outward reactions and your inward responses. You are the only thing you can do something about. Your response(s) is the only thing worth working on. Lean into ME.

"The Springs Road"


The Hotel


My Letter Cabin, "K". Yes, that's how big it is.



*AXIS: Axis Community Church. We officially started meeting publicly in October of 2006. We closed the doors in the end of February of 2008.